So a part time gig to help with my mental health actually did a great deal for my mental health than I expected.
I'm a fairly hush person. So all of this is probably going to sound incredibly vague.
I'm doing ok. Still 100% volatile and vulnerable, but ok. But my anxiety/depression/angst are as much a part of me as anything else. I've been in these fogs forever. I can see them clearly. I know how to navigate them. I even function well despite them. They aren't these terrible things all the time. Sure, sometimes they are and serve as a sort of weight around my ankles pulling me deeper into the water. But
Amy Cuddy's "Fake it 'til you become it" has been in my mind the past couple of months as more than just a recommendation for posture. It's a possibility for mood too. I'm not saying that enough attempts to project happiness will bring it (pretending to be ok does bad too). I'm far from there necessarily, but I'm working on it. Maybe more than her Ted Talk, it was just a mantra. :shrug: Oh, I now type emoji's out. I've no regrets. So while the past few months I've noticed that on my own I will walk with my head down, I'm looking up a bit more lately. So it's coming back to posture anyway.
Last week I was really feeling the 2 jobs exhaustion. This week I kind of came into the productive busy. Which is absolutely positive as I added more to my plate. (insert vague here, and maybe more on that later, maybe not.)
Right now, I'm a mess. My inbox is unorganized. I have 60+ notes to myself of varying topics and lengths. I'm procrastinating things in my personal life. I'm having to reevaluate my habits.
And I'm doing ok.