And it is in part due to fatigue. I’m at a place where I am able to compartmentalize to do well at work, while still not sacrificing too much outside of work. But that balance is always in progress too. Remember that post back in January about prioritizing and reevaluating? So we’re going to be doing that constantly and that’s ok.
So what’s new?
Well, I’ve re-prioritized my time. I enjoy what I do for work, but I also am very aware that I don’t need only to be doing work. And I really did find a great balance where I turned my hobbies/interests into work. And while there are definitely points of awareness to note that really grated on those hobbies, I’m here now, still on board with those, still finding those areas the most interesting.
So here’s a bit of a catch up - a bit messy of one but gets the gist of what I’ve learned or been doing these past few months.
I’m still posting on that new social, but I’m also balancing how because I love being able to unplug and just be. Finding the balance here too.
Constant progress.
On Gaslighting, Gatekeepers and Go Getters: I had the opportunity to get into an area of tech and board games and community and startups that really excited me. And let me also say, I am an incredibly polite and professional individual. That’s who I am. But I’m a professional. I’m a communicator. I’m an educated and informed organizational theorist and community builder. I’m in the population that this is for, yet I felt ignored, silenced, and unnecessary. And I felt that for months. And then I saw an image of the engagement that I was involved in, and it exactly matched when I was throttled and restricted and reached out. And I decided I couldn’t keep doing that anymore, I couldn’t keep spinning my wheels for no purpose. I tried even then to do more and to stand my ground and explain things. It wasn’t enough. I’m one to change things vs complain. But there is a limit and I hit it. And that’s an absolutely awful place to be when that startup wants to create good in the world and has other individuals that absolutely care and are doing incredible work. And it continued to hurt after I decided to leave too. It really did. It was quite a mess and I am still professional. But I’m prioritizing me and my gaming and my well-being and my values in creating content. So there it is. My polite and vague take on it.
I’m Prioritizing People. But the good people. I’m prioritizing me.
I also don’t have to keep these blogs as polished as I would like. They’re more like diary entries anyway. Just shouting out to the void in long tangents… And that’s my type of blog. It’s reflective. It may connect with people. It’s for me. But I’m not going to be pushing an agenda here instead of having conversations. That’s not me.
Also, watch me kick ass my way. I’m an intelligent educator, communicator, journalist, empath, gamer, game designer and advocate. And I’ll be as confident as Tony Stark in these.
Aggro-self care.