Take today for example. A girl on the bus had something in her hair, and with the shape of it, I thought it was an earing of hers that had fallen out. I even saw another speck that looked like her earring backing. I was aware of it, and I decided to just act. I reached out to get her attention and let her know it looked like she had an earring in her hair. And then it turned out to be a flower. Oops. Awkward me had put 2 and 2 together and struck out. And I lived.
I have been off medication for over a year now. This isn't a post about the benefits of or drawbacks of medication. If it something of interest, it's something to discuss with doctors. For me, my doc and I discussed the temporary-ness of them. Normal methods of dealing weren't working at the time, but I got to a point where I could make them work again. Though I am not currently on them, I am also not in the previous environment - the good and bad of it. I have changed that, and that resulted in changing other points of my life as well. There always was the question of "is this me or is this me on meds" that was a concern for distinguishing what I was doing. But I know who I am, and I know how to be the most effective me.
In this entire process, I have found my own little bits that encourage me to be happy. And I am still collecting these. I don't plan to stop collecting them. This is a perception bit, but this is how I am. And while I'm at it collecting these bits of happy, it's a time of exploration. I am looking for this more (this future potential that I am constantly hinting at in these posts) - more in life, more in work, more in opportunities. It's almost like an Alan Menken song. And more represents this notion of something greater. Not just a job to have a job and pay the bills. Not just a routine. Something deeper, something that constantly keeps me on my toes and makes me feel satisfied.
This is me.
And me wants to do more.
I have a bit of an adoration towards Meghan Markle. With all the hype of the Royal Wedding happening, I am completely smitten. I grew up adoring Princess Diana, and when she passed away I was incredibly shaken. This was one of the earliest experiences I had with death, but it then invoked this interest in the modern royal family. So I looked when Will married Kate, and I'm looking again. To me, this is different from a celeb adoration. In this realm of fascination, I want to know more, but I am also seeing a potential call to action. Diana was a humanitarian. Meghan is a humanitarian. I am aware that I have been fortunate for the opportunities in my life. I won a fairly decent sized lottery in life. I have had options in life that not all do. So when I see this, I am inspired. I volunteer already, so this is a new opportunity beyond this.
Thinking about this, it also fits in. My big time career theme goals at the moment are to be able to inspire and listen to students (long time positional goals - advocate or ombudsman, fighting for the student through challenging and supporting ways). But these can intertwine.